It has been awhile ON Tuesday, October 16, 2018 @ 4:13:00 PM
Needed a place to rant and babble about everything and anything thus revisiting blogger as a place of refuge for my deep thoughts.
The last time I wrote a journal content was in the Year 2014, I presume. Things that could happen to someone and changed all their perspective on life and its equivalent is astounding. Being hyper-aware of the fact that one has a mental health issue for close to 19 years is taking a toll on the mental and emotional aspect which in turn affect the health and cause physical discomfort and illnesses.
In order to de-stress and release all the negativity and anxiety that has built up throughout most of my childhood and adulthood ( i suppose), decided to take a break for a year from the social setting and just cleanse my body and mind before I start the grind for next year.
Have you ever been so mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically exasperated to the point of developing insanity thoughts? Apparently, last year, after experiencing hatred & confusion & jealousy & sadness & guilt & being infuriated almost every single day, I was starting to develop tinnitus and having the urge to cause physical harm to others with the thought of slamming their head on the desk. Working in the polyclinic and facing constant negativity and anger reflected from tired and sick patients did not help in maintaining a calm environment for me to heal/ recover from my mental breakdown. After experiencing constant anxiety attacks and sobbing for almost every day, there is this deep-rooted fear of me experiencing the same situation again.
With the year coming to an end in about 2 months time, have I really developed a new tactic to change my perspective when a similar situation happen in the near future? Just the thought of it is causing me to have anxiety even before a problem even arrises.
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Go overseas with my cousins
Ice skating
My dance practice videos and miscellaneous. It's nothing fanciful but i enjoyed every process of it and i hope you will enjoy it too =D. Will upload more practice videos when available.. Stay tune for more!